Sometimes I wonder whether some of my poems are too personal, too full of recent turmoil to post – maybe I should keep them for another day, another month, another year?
I have not made a post for a while, things have been happening. It’s funny you can meet someone and you just have this feeling that something is going to happen, something at least that transcends the ordinary for a while and makes life strange. I met someone recently who turned me inside out, and woke up a lot of things in me that I had kept sleeping quietly. I wrote Zen Love Poem (although didn’t title it until later) about this person just after the second time I met her, because I felt a story was unfolding, the old story of two people getting to know each other and all that entails, the pitfalls of conversation, the disguises we wear, the mistakes we make, the gamble we take when we choose to let another person into our lives, the way the past casts its shadows on the present, the beginnings of affection and the acknowledgement of the unfolding stories of each other. Of course the story ended, all stories end, I knew it would end somehow, it is the nature of things. Thank heavens I am getting good at the Buddhist idea of letting go – and so, in releasing this series of loose haiku, I let her go…
Zen Love Poem
Twists in your hair, the swell of your smile,
Side-stepping reflection I puzzle over
In the half dark between us.
What is this disguise you have brought,
That you play in fancy dress
To my stumbling harlequin?
Quickly we play the game, bend rules.
To and fro we pass the dice
Of questions and half-answers.
You are not your form, nor I mine,
We shift from posture to posture,
Struggling with the act of being.
Mantras in our repitition, the habit
Of saying the the same thing over
Until there is something to say.
The breath you hold in parenthesis,
Inserting your surprise, suddenly
Remembering so many beginnings.
Let go of the past; remember that
Forgetting is sometimes
The first step on the path of truth.
Open your mind, take my hand,
Palm to palm a little of each other,
It begins and ends with hands.
This private story I tell in public
With the breath of loving kindness.
Tell me your story.